[…]Maybe our complacency is the problem. We’re so worried about “minding our own business” that we neglect to actually do what’s right.
Do you agree? When is it okay to tell off your friend’s guy? When is it okay to stand up for her? I think everyone concurs that you can intervene at the level of physical abuse - but what about belittling her, making her feel like she’s nothing, yelling at her and generally being a total psychopath?
[…]
i rarely give serious advice or lecture to friends on their relationships.
why?
it’s the kill-the-messenger syndrome. they might know what you are saying is true or correct, and they may even want to take your advice, but in the end, they want it to be their decision.
people—especially women—don’t want to know that others recognize their own relationship failings.
there may be a rare occurrence where the time is right to bring up your concerns—but do so with caution. i’m even careful giving my sister advice about relationships. i wait until she comes to me and wants to talk.
it’s better to keep your thoughts to yourself as much as possible until your friend comes to you for advice.
as a final disclaimer, my opinion here probably stems from the point that i am quite a private individual in many aspects of my life.